Captain Goat

Flowing gently down the clouds in a row boat
The sails bellowing as the ship is guided by Captain Goat
And rocks appear on either side of the ship
And Goat guides the boat about for fear they might be hit
The clouds laugh as they float by and by
Thus the ship makes its way as it flies
Below evil monkeys leer and throw stones
Dashing the side of the ship with many rocks and stones
But Captain Goat knows just what to do
He pulls the wheel about and brings the ship through
Another wave of clouds to cover their location
And they are free at last, fleeing with no hesitation
As they come closer to the sun just around the bend
They see a THE END

A Friend Indeed

Sleep, meet, miles apart
Nothing new is waking me up
Endless dreams, endless nightmares
I walk among the dead but they don't walk among me
I call your name but you don't hear me
Like a voice lost in wind I'm blown away
No one sees me and no one knows me in this town
Fake, and bloody, and beaten down to a pulp
My heart is bleeding, and I am seeking, and I'm not finding
My brain is beating and I'm thinking and I'm lost with timing
I'm in an endless dream that makes it feel like a nightmare
But it's not that bad but I'm not that happy
Sleep, meet me, miles apart you'll meet me
And I'll meet you, hand in hand we'll walk the fields
You and I because you know me better than anyone else
I don't know you, I don't know anything about you, and I feel awkward
Awkward to talk, awkward to stop and think
Because you know my thoughts
And now my mind has fought
I want to take a guess, I've got a hunch
Stepping on my hands with a loud crunch as they dissolve
Passed away like my soul is running dry
And I'm praying I'm hoping I try and I try
And you look down at me as I'm on my knees and hold out your hand
You say "Son, you need me to stand."

Chico

Every morning I do what I want
Make some eggs make some toast
Do some orange do some juice
Make some coffee put the bacon on
And I'm all Chico get in here and work
And he's all boy you don't own me
And I'm all darn you got a point
So we work together
Makin' dat breakfast like pros
And we work to the clock and
Push to the dock like pros
You ever had bacon and eggs and toast
So good they melt in yo mouth like
Ice ream, talkin like ice cream
Push it

Burying Secrets

Shovel in hand I dig the hole
My thoughts race as I dig deeper and deeper into the earth
Shovel in hand my mind is full
My hands start to shake as I reach the bottom
Shovel in hand, this is starting to take it's tole
And I fall to my knees as I finish digging at last
Shovel in hand, my face grows cold
And I dump my skeletons out of the wardrobe into the ground
Shovel in hand I fill in the hole
When I return home to my great displeasure
All my skeletons are waiting for in the living room
Nonchalantly staring at me, smiling at me, winking at me
Shovel in hand I take a deep breath and sit down in front of them

FML

Fruity Meals Like
What oh my gosh that's new
Not what you thought I suppose
Everyone's freaking out about those
I'm all chill people just an acronym
Sitting there all rubbing their chins
Like what oh my gosh that's new
Sit back, taste it, try a few
And we just keep thinking FML
That's not what I was thinking to sell
Oh well, better get going
I'm tried, and cranky, so I reap what I'm sowing?
Sure let's end with that

Post-Script

P.S.
Normally a piece of a kind
Something distant and hard to find
Smaller and darker but with a hint
Anger and pity and a reddish tint
Milestones of hurt and murder
Can take us somewhere, can take us further
War is what we call our friend
Until we destroy one another in the end
Don't forget what you've read
Don't leave us, don't lose your head

Lovely Little Pain

Suffocating
I can't breathe
I don't know if I'm happy or terrified
Painfully
My head throbbing
I can't tell if this is real or fake
Stop this
You're hurting me
But I know it's not your fault
Release me
You're killing me
But I can't help this feeling
You're the cause, you're the cause
Of this lovely little pain
You're the ache, you're the ache
That I can't seem to push away
Tripping
Over my own feet
I don't want to do this anymore
Falling
Falling deeper
I can't do this anymore
Take me, take me now and never let go

Casualty

Freedom
Cost of lives taken from them
Who knew such sorrow and beauty
could live among us and still remain
Tragedy
Because that is what we see
What we all plead for and beg for
And we toss out words just two of three
Endless
Because we're a storm
Let's all bring down a rain of fire
To pull out the blood stained thorn
Beating
Beating hearts ache for blood
Trashed and broken and thrown away
Picked clean yet still fallen in mud
Hatred
That's right I said it
Ypeak the truth and speak the lies
You'll never ever be fit

Go on be another casualty
Go on be another victim
Go on slander
Be bold
Be another casualty

Shut Your Eyes

Pretend your back here
Spending time with friends
When you're feeling sad
Because the time has to end
Remember you're always welcome back
To chill and laugh
So shut your eyes and get some rest
Dream of California, and remember
We're always here, just for you

Trusting Myself is Trusting You

Leaning towards a blank space
An empty point an empty spot
Millions of people who don't belong
Sitting on the sideline staring in at me
And I look inside myself to find to clarity
And you stare back out at me
Telling me my sanity is a sure thing

Nothingness closes in on me
And my mind draws a total blank
Am I real or are you fake?
Is this feeling the end of only the beginning
Or am I seriously losing it this time
I stare inside myself to find some sense to make
And you are looking back at me
Telling me my sanity is a sure thing

I trust myself, only because I trust you
I trust you and only you
Because you're constant and won't let me down
So I trust myself, only because I am trusting you

Bleed

Bleeding for what you believe in
Throwing away your lives for anything
Suffering for what you know is true
When those in power are flawed
We all have a choice to make
We can sit and complain and kick and scream
Or we can work together to better this world
And if we bleed, so then we bleed
If we fall, so then we fall, and we will rise again
But if we love, we prevail
If we help one another we succeed
And if we push onward towards a bettered future
Our bleeding will not be in vain

Sometimes (Life)

Sometimes life just doesn't turn out how you wanted to.  And all you can do is sit there in disbelief that what happened really happened.  You're powerless to change it.  You're powerless to change anything.  You can't help yourself, or anyone else.  Yeah, sometimes life...it just doesn't turn out how you planned or anything.  This is no one's fault, it's just how life works.  Our plans are not always what fate has in store.  We are not in control.  We are not in control.  I am not in control.  I am not...

You know what?  Sometimes life doesn't turn out the way you want it to...and that just sucks.  

Cannibal

You don't care who you hurt
Anyone will do just fine
And you destroy life for fun
This time you've crossed a line

You're a cannibal
A flesh eater
Eating away at life
You're a cannibal
A meat eater
Causing misery and strife

You lift them up to tear them down
And watch the chaos that ensues
You break hearts and ruin for no reason
Your end is coming, it's overdue

You're a cannibal
A flesh eater
Eating away at life
You're a cannibal
A meat eater
Causing misery and strife

And I'm tired of it and am putting a stop to it...

Just Fine

I won't be sorry this time
For coming back
I can't feel shame for what I believe
That's a fact
I'm trying so hard to trust you
And I know
You won't let me down again
From below

Let me kiss you again
Let me hold you again
Let me know you're alright
Let me see you're doing fine

I'm putting up a fence now
Around my heart
But you're allowed inside
You were from the start
And I know I'm selfish
Let it be a lesson
I can't lie to you anymore
This is my confession

Let me kiss you one last time
Let me hold you before you leave
Let me know you're alright
Let me see you're doing just fine

I can't feel this here and now
I am done
I will be on my way now
Just for fun
We will be together if you like
I love you either way
Because you came running back
This is all I have to say

Let me kiss you always
Let me hold you forever
I know you and I are alright
I can see we're doing just fine

Standing On A Lonely Rock

I am
You are
We are here now
I'm standing
You're sitting
We're here now
Letting go of
My hand now
We're free now
I am
You're not
Here anymore
I'm lost
But this makes me better
That's the only thing?
I'm so alone
But you're here

San Diego's Year

January is starting anew
February is full of love
March is mad as a hare
April is a foolish fool
May has the days of spring
June is full of weddings
July has fireworks
August is hot
September, you thought August was hot?
October welcomes Halloween
November we give many thanks
December here comes Christmas
Then it starts all over again!

The Demon

He rarely spoke to anyone, and the people he did speak to ended up dead.  If he spoke to you, he didn't like you, and you were in trouble.  He was a vicious and cruel killer but not even the law could stop him, they were too afraid of him.  Rumor had it he couldn't even die.  He was a ghost, or a god, or a demon perhaps.  The stories always varied as to what he actually was or where he came from.  But the west was never the same after he showed up.  Yes sir, Dan Samuals had struck the west with fear.

One day in a small town in the south-west, there was a sheriff by the name of Emmett Price who had had enough.  He began to round up a posse so that they could have a lynching.  They rode north to a town where Samuals had last been seen.

They entered the town's saloon.  What happened after that was legend. in the town to this day.  The posse surrounded Dan Samuals who was drinking whiskey while playing cards, a hooker sitting on his lap.  He paid the posse no mind, but simply kept on playing cards, even though his companions had all frozen and were watching the men.

"Dan Samuals," said Price.  "You're comin' with us."

"Oh yeah?" said Samuals finally after minutes of silence.  "Naw, I'm fine where I am thank ya much."

"It's not an option," Price spat out drawing his six-shooter from his hip and pointing it at Samuals' head.  Still today people remember those last words before Dan Samuals stood up.  He was a good head taller than Price...and then two heads taller as Samuals grabbed hold of Price's head and ripped it off.  He held the head high and let the blood drip into his mouth before pulling two huge hunting knives from his boots and letting loose on every living person in the bar.

After he was done he was covered in blood and his eyes were filled with rage.  It was that day that the west decided what he was.  All the stories pointed to it.

A demon.

Catch Me

Falling from a great height is such a thrill
The rush of the air past your face
And through you hair and in your ears
It's only then you realize what the bottom holds
And you can't wake up from it this time
Catch me, I'm falling, I'm falling deeper

The bottom is only the beginning
Once you're there you can't get back up easily
And it's such torment
But I see light in the darkness
So as I fall I beg you to catch me, catch me please

The Beach

Soft breezes blowing carelessly about
The sand wraps around my toes and feet
The waves gently roll up on the beach, then back again
There is beautiful sunshine brightly beating down
The reflection is glorious upon the sea
But the air is neither hot nor cold but a perfect temperature
There are small, puffy, white clouds dotting the sky
Different shaped and colored shells litter the shoreline
All I hear is the waves rolling in and call of seagulls
I close my eyes and lay down in the soft sand
It's so soft...so caressing on my skin
I lie there, on the beach, by myself, on the beach

Dear World

You make me sick.  I can't even say words about it.  Well I should say the people of world.  War, hate, slander, lies, cruelty, slavery, violence, and more war and hate, slander lies, cruelty, slavery, and violence.  It just goes on and on and there never is any peace.  No rest for the wicked I suppose.

I love at night when I can look up at the stars and see there is something bigger than all of this.  It gives me hope, if only for a moment.

So dear world, please do some serious changing.  Do some serious forgiving, and loving, and learn to be patient and kind.  Because at this rate we'll all be dead before long.  We don't want that now do we?

Sincerely,
A concerned mammal

Castle

I live in a castle
Or that's how I look at it
Defended by high walls and battlements
Turrets and slot holes and catapults
My castle is very well built
And I live in it
I don't let anyone
And if anyone knocks
Off with their heads
Because I'm selfish and lonely
Too proud to accept friends of any kind
No one is allowed in my castle
Because I live there
Me, and me alone
In my castle

One Word

One word
Tears
Two words
No more
Three words
I hate you
Six words
I will never hate you again

One word
Hate
Two words
Never again
Three words
I love you
Six words
I can't be this way again

One word
Love
Two words
True love
Three words
I love you
Six words
I will always love you dear

"Listen to me, please."

"No."

"Ok."

In a Straight Line

I feel it in my bones, that chilling feeling
And it takes me back to the times I forgot
Words blowing in the wind
Mean no more that empty lie
Hollow whispers from behind the hand
Gossip and tall tales bounding about
And we all move on in a straight line
The system is broken but we all follow it
Because we have to have it all
I sit here apart of the this system
And oh we're stuck inside this straight line
Filing towards a horrifying and frightful future
Not know is what we're afraid of
But not knowing is all we can do
Worrying makes us all die faster
So many people in a rush, rushing towards death
"Die faster, we want to die faster!" they unknowingly say
Little do they know they'll get their wish
And I'm as bad as the rest, pushing and shoving to get place to place
And the stress shows in our faces and attitudes
Grumpy and angry and sad
We move place to place thinking this is it
But there's so much more to life that we fail to see
Instead we just keep moving on, stuck inside that straight line...

Carefully

I carefully carry you up the stairs from the couch.  You sleepily wrap your arms around me and smile up at me through half closed eyes.  I kiss your forehead and lay you down in bed.  I carefully unties your shoes and take them off and then pull the covers up over you.

"Goodnight, love," I say.

You respond with a gentle snore.  I shut off the lights with a smile and shut the door.

Goodnight, love.

The Coming

Victorious is the one who sheds his own blood for his friend
Lowly is the one who lies to himself defend
Triumphant is he who puts others' lives before his own
Beautiful is she who protects instead of sitting upon her throne
But terrible are those take lives for their own gain
Terrible are those who murder and steal and cause shame
Woe to the world that we live in
Where those of evil prosper and win
Where the good guy loses to the bad guy
More often than not, no matter how they try

But:

Listen children, for the sound of trumpets
Listen my elders, for the sound of drums
Watch my people, for the coming that will save this world

Friction

New lines spoken
Left alone and broken
Happy to be free
Set afloat upon the sea
Growing up was never close
So you stop, and throw
Away everything that hasn't fit
And keep the things that stick
New ages spun
Nothing new done
Friction so much friction
Loving you is my addiction
You're the voice in my head
When it's all been said
No I can't forget
I won't let the sun set
Angry or upset
No I won't forget
New lines spoken
No longer broken

Perfect

Listen to me listen to me
There is not much time
The truth lies beneath
And the lies are far behind
The struggle is real
I can assure you of that
There is no more sorrow
This it not another trap
What I'm telling you is important
Please listen carefully
What I'm saying can't be heard again
So take head dutifully
When all is said and done
You can go be on your way
But please for the love of all things
Just remember what I say

I know you're not really perfect, no one really is
But you're perfect for me, trust me, I'm telling you this

Life Is Funny

Sunlight attempts to shine through
The blinds in the window to get too
The rest of the room and turn up the heat
All I do is lay there fast asleep
My alarm is about to go off
But I can only lay here the sheets are so soft
I wanna dream forever like I never have
To wake up yeah that makes me feel sad
I'd like to live in a world with no hate
No drama and lies just a clean slate
I believe in place like that that exists
It's frustrating to think about balled in a fist
And you all realize I'm not the same
And then I realize myself I'm completely sane
You can't just turn off the lights that you see
When you're living life just trying to be free
These feelings I have have never been more real
It's not all about the money but hard work is what I feel
Is doing it for me right now
And that's what I've got so I'm just gonna not wonder how
All this is gonna fold out in play
Just try to process everything before I say
Say too much and spill my feelings everywhere
I'll shut my mouth now I swear

Wait I got just a bit more to say
Life is funny in every way
One moment you're down in the dirt
The next you feel like the number one the first
I'm trying to remember not to get too caught up in feelings
Because you end up hurting yourself like shady dealings
I just want to live my life
I just want to be alright
I'm not asking for everything or anything specific I guess
I just want to get by and the best
The best I can be for so many reasons you know
The best I can be is all I can do so let's go
Around again for another trip to our own minds
To understand a little better why the light is trying to get through the blinds...

The Destination

Pepper trees litter the land like so many spots on the map.  The map that hold the key to a destination so far away you can never reach it on foot, or in any way known to man.  Some spoke of death being the only way to the destination but know one knows for sure.  Death tells nothing after it has come and gone.  Only the living can speak.  But speak in rhyme they do, so as to hide their true identities.  They are liars they are fakes they are beggars and thieves.  Who are we to call upon a God so mighty when we have forsaken Him.  Not He who has forsaken us.  We're the problem we're the stain on the map.  The map is so old and crinkled.  It's ready to be burned and no one will see it ever again in this world or the next.  No one will ever know the destination.  It's out fault.  Our own faults.

And so the trees sway.  Sway in a breeze so gentle and calm that no mere mortal can appreciate it.  It's sent from a source so sweet and humble...so sweet and humble.  The trees sway to a beat that can only be heard by them...yes only they can here the beat beat beating of the breeze that they so gracefully dance to.  Will we ever see the day come when love conquers and hate is abolished.  Back in the day slavery was abolished but the hate kept on and kept on spreading and breeding.  Now it seems that we live in nothing but the hate...war breeds, murder breeds, lies breed...the hate just breeds.  Oh Lord let death take me so I might leave this world once and for all.  I tire at the very though of living in this place for another day...yet peace over takes me as I lie here on this bed of grass.  Staring up at those trees.  Those trees swaying in the breeze.  Those pepper trees that litter the land like so many spots on the map.

I'm Not Happy/I'm Happy

I'm not happy because of this or that
I'm not happy because things didn't turn out the way I wanted them to
I'm not happy because I didn't get that job I wanted
I'm not happy because I didn't get that new car I wanted
I'm not happy because I just didn't get enough sleep last night
I'm not happy because because because
I'm not happy
I'm not happy
I'm not happy

Well I'm happy about one thing, or another
I'm happy because things didn't turn out the way I wanted them, where's the fun in that
I'm happy because now I can search for another job
I'm happy because traffic sucks
I'm happy because who needs sleep anyway
I'm happy because I can and should be
I'm happy
I'm happy
I'm happy

I'm happy because of you
I'm not happy because of you
But you make my life
I'm happy only because of you

St. Cloud Hospital

Mark lay on his side trying to fall asleep.  The guy in the next bed was making sure he couldn't.

"There were bodies everywhere...there were bodies everywhere...there were bodies everywhere," was all the man said over and over again rocking back and forth his knees pulled up against his chest.  "There were bodies everywhere..."

"Look I get that there were bodies everywhere but I need to sleep man," Mark said rolling over to look at his neighbor.  "Just go to bed, nothing can happen in here."

Why they had put Mark in the same room as this nut case he would never know.  Mark had tried to commit suicide due to severe depression and it had wound him up in an insane asylum.  Okay they weren't really called that anymore, but that's basically what it was.  Mark's lovely neighbor in the bed across had supposedly murdered eleven of his friends.  Mark was no psychologist but trying to kill yourself as opposed to slaughtering eleven people wasn't the same level of crazy or mentally ill.

"Nothing can happen in here?" the man said exasperatedly.  "What if I kill you too?"  Mark suddenly felt much better.

"Look, why don't you tell me what happened, from the beginning," Mark suggested.

"How will that help?"

"I don't think it will help really, but it might help get you to sleep at least."

"Ok..." the man took a deep breath, inhaling sharply, holding it for a second, and then exhaling slowly.  "Well me and some friends were on a backpacking trip in the Grand Canyon.  We were heading up a trail when I slipped and fell.  I hit my head on a rock or something a blacked out I guess....When I woke up, I was in pitch darkness.  I pulled my flashlight out of my bag and shined it around.  I was in some sort of cave and all my friends...dead...all dead, stabbed to death on the floor...my bloody knife lay on the ground at my feet..."

"How did you kill eleven people?  I mean none of them were able to stop you?  That doesn't seem to make sense," said Jack thoughtfully.

"Well how else could they have died?"

There was a knock the door opened.  The light flicked on and a man in a business suit stood there.

"Eric," the suit man said, "I have good news that couldn't wait."

"What is it, Fred?" the man named Eric asked.

"The stab wounds on the victims don't even match your knife, and the blood on your knife doesn't belong to any of the victims either, in fact they don't even think it's human blood.  You're innocent Eric!"

"Really?  Innocent?  But...what...who?"

"We don't know, they're still investigating the scene for my clues and evidence.  But you'll be able to leave in the morning."

Mark had an uneasy feeling.  Something didn't sound right.

Mark woke up the next morning to an empty room.  Eric had obviously checked out already.  Mark got out of bed, did some stretches and push ups and then left left the room for breakfast which was in five minutes.

The hall was littered with bodies everywhere.  Patients, nurses, and doctors all stabbed to death, lying in pools of blood.

"What the heck happened?"  Mark gasped out loud.

He turned around and before him as a monstrous creature with huge long sharp claws.  It let out a howl before it stuck its claws into Mark, killing him.

St. Cloud Hospital was shut down after that.  There could be no cover up, and no one would want to stay there after that.  The beast was never caught, or even seen for that matter.  But it was confirmed this was no humans' doing.  The hospital stood upon it's lonely hill on the edge of the city.  People who lived near it say they still see lights flickering in the windows, and here wolf-like howls coming from the grounds.  Naturally daring teenagers and adventures have sneaked into the hospital grounds.  They've either come back bored and disappointed, or never come back at all.

But the new mental hospital on the other side of town is very nice.

It's Time to Leave It Behind

How do we know what we're doing is right?

How do we know we're on the right path?

I started dying when I was born

My body grew only to start falling apart

How do I know I am who I say?

How do I know what I am is true?

Lately I've been thinking about

Everything you said to me when we were alone

Lately I've been thinking about 

All the things I could have, should have done

What do we know about the truth?

What do we know about things untold?

We started falling before we could stand

We left behind a legacy of lies

How do we know we are who we say?

How do we know what we are is true?

Lately I've been thinking about

Everything you said to me when we were alone

Lately I've been thinking about 

All the things I could have, should have done

Reckless, we've all become reckless

Breathless, I long to feel breathless

Worthless, we're so far from worthless

Reckless, forgetting to be reckless

Lately I've been thinking about

Everything you said to me when we were alone

Lately I've been thinking about 

All the things I could have, should have done

Why?

Chimney stacks lining the sky
Puffing out clouds of dust and machine parts
Make a new wave they said, make a new piece of the puzzle
But we were all made to break
And it was apparent that that was the reason
That we lost the war that said winter season

And a soft wind blew through the air as blood dripped
Slowly from the lips of a dead man hung and lashed
His sword lay on the ground no longer a weapon but a symbol
A symbol of failure and the end of life
So sits the crow eyeing his next feast, deliciously

Now the widow morns her lost loved one
The children do not understand
And the machine parts and dust float by
Polluting the air and deadening the bright sunlight
A gray haze, clouds, and a light drizzle of blood from the skies
All left behind from the hate of the world
And the war that we so lovingly waged upon one another

Why do we hate, why do we war, why do we hate, WHY DO WE WAR?

LOVE

L is for living, breathing human beings that live on this earth.
O is for other living creatures that roam among us.
V is for varying type of of living beings on this earth.
E is for everyone and everything can be loved.

Color Blind

Believe, or believe not.  Either way you lose.  Red.
Hang on or don't hang on, either way you'll fall.  Blue.
Down and down you go to the earth's core.  Red.
A beauty of red and yellow fire cast before your eyes.  Green.
Tempting to jump, temping to save yourself.  Red.
So many so many, so few, and so little.
Red.  Blue.  Green.  Red.
Down the hall and to your left, behold another way out.  Red.
I can't see it this time around, nor can any at all.  Red.
When down upon the eastern banks.  Blue.
Waves crashing upon the distant rocks.  Red.
Red.  Red. Red. Red. Or is it?

Ready To Die

I've spread myself thin, rested for far too long

Now I'm bleeding on this street, and I see I'm wrong

This whole time I was needing only you

And I forgot that and was so untrue

You've never left my side but I forgot you were here

Now I'm hanging from a noose made out of my own fear

This deep pressing darkness won't swallow me this time

I was made to battle it, my strength I will find

Within you, within myself, within the light

Bring it to me, I'm ready now, for the fight

Can you hear me?  Can you hear my cry

I'm ready, I'm finally ready to die

To die for a cause much greater than me

To die for you, and finally be free

Holy water won't do the trick

All this phony talk is making me sick

Stop pretending to be holier than everyone else

You're a fake,  and your soul you'd sell

An instant a moment you'd turn and flee

I understand I've been there but listen to me

We're hanging by nooses made of our own fear

If we don't man up we'll end up dying here

Is that what you want, I know I don't

Not for my enemies, not for my brothers, no I won't

I won't let that happen if it's the last thing I do

I'll drag them to safety, I will do my best for you

Can you hear me?  Can you hear my cry

I'm ready, I'm finally ready to die

To die for a cause much greater than me

To die for you, and finally be free

Boring

Three little words.  Four rather large words.  Up to date.  Down to the flames.  Doesn't really matter I suppose.  I'm thinking about the way words work.  They can work any way you want them really.  What makes sense to one may not make sense to another.  Or may it?  It may or may not.  But what is fantastic is that you can mold and shape your words to form a piece of art, a work of art, a masterpiece...of art.  Of beauty.  They say grammar is important.  It is no doubt, but there comes a time, there comes a place, when those grammatical rules are supposed to be broken I do believe.  Incomplete.  Sentences.  Are the greatest aren't they?  Dramatic effect they cause, so lovely.  You can really use them to make a point, urgent or not so urgent.  But there it is, the point, staring you in the face.  You think to yourself, that's not right, but it's stuck in my mind now.  Interesting how flaws seem to ingrain themselves into our minds more than flawless things in life.  Horror sticks with us more than peace and beauty...or maybe I'm just screwed up.  Could be.  Couldn't be.  Probably.  Probably not.  Yes.  But anyway, I digress.  I go off an rabbit trails you see, because they are interesting.  Rabbits are fascinating creatures and I hear make great stew.  Dogs like to chase them.  I guess I'm like a dog then, going off on a rabbit trail.  How odd to think of myself as such.  An animal.  but I am right?  Probably.  Yes.  I'd like to be human again sometime.  Sit on my porch watching the sun go down after a long day, drinking some ice cold water.  Ice cold water is good.  have you ever just had a drink of water and it was just the best thing you ever drank?  I have.  it's perfect and cool and clear and tasty, as tasty as any drink could be.  Here I go, off on another rabbit trail, or should I say water trail...I think I'm going to wrap this up now, I'm just typing nonsense.  But perhaps it's made you think about things.  I myself am thinking about a million things right now, which is why I'm writing to get my mind off anything and everything.  Weird what comes out when you just write...nonsense, boring, utter nonsense.  Boring, utter nonsense.

Hidden

Look at the candle flame blown out, blown away

The night over takes you with no words to say

The hatred is flowing and you feel yourself bleed

The darkness laughs as it sucks you dry with glee

How distraught one is to witness an event

The like of which have never been met

By anyone who doesn't really seem to understand

But they sit and stare and wave their hands

Shame on you, shame on me, shame on everyone

But shame on them who turn and run

The slightest error, the slightest tension

The slightest terror that no one ever mentions

Be gone with you, most would say

But the other half simple look the other way

"There's a light at the end of the tunnel" they'll cry

But it is never coming closer so you say your goodbye

I'll tie your noose, if you tie mine

Standing on a stool and counting to nine

Such a sad way to go, and I cried when I knew

That untold story of me and you

Hidden, hidden, hidden...

Last Night

Last night I had a dream
It made me think about who I am
I sold myself a long time ago
To a greater power and I'm glad I did
How I live my life isn't always what I want
But change is so hard , so hard, so hard

Everything is in a slow motion these days it seems
A change nevertheless and can't be stopped
But not how I planned it, never how I plan
And so it goes on, anxiety rising every day
Then it goes down and everything is alright
In your arms I keep finding solace
And then everything works out the way it is meant
Because of you because of you, you keep it that way

Last night I couldn't sleep because a voice was talking
In my head I'm not crazy though I promise
Believe me when I say I'm not crazy, I'm quite sane
I just have this buzzing in my mind
Call in forceful will or just a gut feeling
But it's there and and keeps me up all night long

I'm so stressed out I want to explode
Maybe literally, that's sort of how it feels
Everything is in slow motion these days it seems
But I know what i'm doing and what I have to do
I know my duty and my purpose and that's fine with me
It's a lot of stress but that's okay, that's okay, that's okay

You can't find love in the darkness
You can't find hate in the light
So love like you were meant to
Everyone around you
The haters and the strangers
Love everyone the same

Because last night I had a dream
Where everyone loved like someone I know
And the world was at peace, even among the chaos
Everyone found a way, some time, to love one another
In a perfect world, but it's not
We're in an imperfect world, that's what I dreamed last night

Poem for a Sunday

The leaves on the trees

Gently flutter

Sun light on my face

A glorious display of creation

Creativity, what a word

To describe the world I see

The Creator has created

Such a beautiful array or

Color and majesty

Such cannot be found anywhere else

Not a mind of imagination can

Replicate what has been

Already created

Glory to God

Our Lord and Creator

Such beauty on a Sunday

Valentine

 “Valentine, oh my Valentine! Answer me my sweet Valentine!”

“CUT! You call that acting Ricky? Why don't you try doing it with some real passion. Why don't...why don't you actually try this time yeah? We're gonna go again, for a millionth time. Do it RIGHT THIS TIME!”

“Mr. Fance, not to be rude but this is just a highschool play, it's not anything fancy,” said Anny.

“Oh right, so we can just half-ass the whole thing, that makes sense. Do it again, and do it right. None of you are going home until we get this right people!”

It was cold out now, night had fallen. Fance was leaving the building last. All the students had gone home after her and flown into a rage about Ricky not being passionate enough for the part. Clarence was in love with Valentine...they were mad lovers, yet Ricky acted like Valentine was just a friend, like one of his bros almost. Like Valentine didn't matter that much. Like she was just a side chick or something. No. No she wasn't that. She was SO much more. Fance knew it. He had created her. He had created Clarence too. He had chosen Ricky to play Clarence, much to his regret now.

But oh well right? You live and learn. Fance, you live and learn. What? I know. It's ok we'll get this. They have to get this.

You alright buddy?

Oh look a deer. Why is there a deer in the middle of a city street.

I can't drive right now I'm too tired. I'm going to crash and kill my self, or kill someone else. Is anyone else even alive right now? You mean awake? Yeah awake that's what I meant. It's late at night. The students are home. I'm going home. Fance you're going home. GO HOME FANCE.

 Valentine's waiting for you. She's not real? Is she? She isn't? She is. She must be. I made her. Please. Tell me she's real? I have NO ONE ELSE! You can't take her.

Where am I? Oh I'm home.

Fance shot himself in the head that night, a lipstick kiss of his cheek…

Who was Valentine to take his life? She was created by him? Why would she do that? HOW could she do that? She was directing the play now. She was in charge. Her next victim would be Clarence. Oh she loves Clarence. Right? I do love him she says. I love him? Do I? Do I really love him? He lacks the passion I seek. But I love him. No. Yes. No. I love him. Oh I love him so!

Ricky got to the theater the next day early to try and practice his lines. Truth be told he was a common friend with stage fright. Very familiar. Very common. Very much full of stage fright. He didn't much like Fance and wasn't even sure why the crazy man had chosen him for the part. Maybe because he was a good looking jock. Something like that maybe. Maybe. Yeah maybe.

Here he is. My Ricky Clarence. For me Valentine. He is mine now. Here I am Valentine. I am here for you my love. Yes and I am here for you too my love! Take me in your arms now and kiss me.

“Valentine!”

“Clarence?”

“What? Who said that?”

“'Tis me my love, your Valentine!”

“But...you're not real!”

Not real but real enough for death to overtake both. Why Ricky hung himself from the theater rafters no one knew. But Valentine knew. She drove all her men mad...drove them all...to death.