Beware! Large Bird In Vicinity

So a large bird was perched on the telephone wire.  No big deal the old chap thought.  He could just keep on feeding those dumb pigeons the bread crumbs.  If the big old fatty bird wanted some it was more than welcome to come get some.  But instead the ugly brute sat on that wire and watched the old chap sitting on the par bench feeding the pigeons.  In fact it was the bench that was feeding the pigeon's and not the old chap.  The old chap was feeding them as well, I should say.  Both he bench and the old chap were feeding the pigeons.

The large bird sat on the wire and watched.  The bench was having difficulty throwing the bread crumbs, since it had no arms, only armrests.  The old chap was constantly having to aid the bench in throwing the crumbs to the stupid pigeons gathered round on the pavement.  The park was very still and quiet, for it was early morning.  But the big bird did not care, it just went on watching, watching, eating worms.  The worms crawled along the telephone wire right to the big bird so they could get eaten.  It was a sort of honoring ceremony for a worm to be eaten, especially by a bird as large and dumb as the fatty on the wire.  The big fatty bird watched the old hap and bench as they fed the pigeons.

The sun began to set and so the old chap patted the bench goodnight and then left the park.  On his way home he noticed the big fatty bird waddling along beside him.  It looked at him and screeched, then took off and landed in a nearby tree.  The worms no longer crawled to it, for they were taking a break from their honoring ceremonies.  The bird watched the old chap, and the old chap grabbed a chicken leg from his pant's pocket and began chewing it.  He sat down on the ground, crossing his legs, an sat there stubbornly watching the fatty bird, and the fatty bird watching him too.

And so night came.  The bright stars far up in the dark heavens twinkled and sparkled down at the old chap and the fatty bird.  Beware!  The stars said.  Beware!  Large Bird in the Vicinity.  They seemed to laugh at the old chap who had long finished his chicken leg and was now playing a small fiddle the size of a peanut.  He played a merry tune that seemed to say, this night is my day, and my day is too bright for you!  And so the old chap played on, while the large fatty bird watched.

Then morning came, and the old chap lay dead on the sidewalk.  People came from miles around to see the old chap's lifeless body.  It was rather incredible to see such a sight, the old chap, dead, and the fatty bird still sitting in the tree, watching, watching, eating.