I Don't Want To Be Here

Do you know what it is like to lose someone?  I think it I do...or last, sort of what it feels like.  Because I lost myself...and that is hard.  It is a hard thing to lose yourself, to lose sight of who you were.

You forget yourself, the thoughts you had, the way you were...it sort of gets left behind.  And I think I don't want to be here, forgotten on the side of the road, left behind by my own self.

Then I stop and wonder, maybe this is exactly where I am supposed to be.  Maybe I'm doing everything I'm supposed to be doing.  Never perfectly of course, never good enough.  I will never be good enough.

But maybe what I'm doing is just right...just right.  Maybe I do want to be here.  Maybe I could be happy here.  No, I'm not the same person I used to be.

I have changed a lot I suppose...I'm different to say the least.  But I'm still me...and maybe, just maybe this is the place for me.  I do want to be here.  I wouldn't ask for anything to be different, because everything is right.

I am not my own, all I have is not my own, so why try to change, why worry, why not just be satisfied.  I want to be here.  This is where I belong, this is where I will stay.  This is who I am.

So let me be this way and don't try to stop me, because I'm doing it the way He designed...I was seeking so long for something more when it was right in front of me all along.  Well I am done.

This is where I am, where I will always be and I am satisfied, finally satisfied, finally ready to accept.  It took me long enough.  But this is where I belong, this is where I will stay.  This is who I am.